What is This?

A new shop opened a week ago in Boulder Creek across the street from Blind Pilot Jewelry, selling things collected by Philomena, the proprietress, from dozens of thrift shops and bargain barns. Ostensibly a Valentine store, its too-ordinary facade suggested to me the classic science-fiction curio shop that covertly deals in alien artifacts. I chatted with P, bought a few things, and before I left, Philomena insisted on giving me this pocket-sized brown stone that I had previously admired. My suspicions increased when she refused to take money for it. It felt good in my hand but I could not figure out what it was nor where it had come from.

On each side is carved a humanoid figure in the style of aborigines or petroglyphs. Two figures engaged in some mysterious act. Could this strange carved stone be some sort of sophisticated communication device, a telepathy-based iPhone connecting me to beings in a parallel dimension?

The voices in my head suddenly started making sense.

They are hyper-erotic guardian angels. And they are desperately in love with life on Earth.

Come join our party:
We serves and protects
Will trade secrets of Nature
for sex.