War in Afghanistan: The Path Not Taken

WAR IN AFGHANISTAN:
THE PATH NOT TAKEN

Deliver unto us Osama
Or we will wage peace upon you
We’ll deAfghanicize your people
And turn them all red, white and blue.

We’ll drop fifty-five billion dollars
Upon your turbaned heads
Then a hundred million catalogs
Of cars and bras and beds.

Our Victoria’s Secret weapons
Will smash your Islamic State
While we bring down Afghani computers
With the next Windows upgrade from Gates.

CNN will drown out Al-Jazeera
You’ll get nothing but our point of view
Informed only by Time, Newsweek and Oprah
Afghanis love Tel Aviv too.

To rewire the brains of your people
We don't mind doing stuff that is risky
We'll drop tons of mushrooms and acid
And bomb Afghanistan back to the Sixties.

So deliver unto us Osama
Or we will assimilate you
We’ll exterminate Afghani culture
And turn you all red, white and blue.

------Dr Jabir 'abd Al-Khaliq