Friday, April 15, 2011

A Frog Named Jagger

In alternate universe K-9, a rogue artificial intelligence was successfully violating the Second Law of Thermodynamics through quantum currency manipulation. As part of his plan to bring this silicon-based outlaw to justice, Ferdinand Feghoot was posing as the manager of a walk-in bank on the planet Jeffbezos.

The chief teller of Feghoot's bank was an Earth I female named Patricia Whack, a distant relative of the Whacks who run Whack and Crusher, the demolition company that changed history by unmasking the real scoundrels responsible for the destruction of America's World Trade Center.

Just before closing time, a frog walks into Feghoot's bank and approaches Patricia Whack's desk. "Ms Whack," he says," I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into the back office.

She finds Feghoot behind his desk playing Romulan solitaire and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

Ferdinand Feghoot looks back at her and says: "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

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