Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The New Sex Robot


Hello, Nick.
My name is Claire.
I'm your new sex robot.

(deep sexy voice)
I'll do anything you want, Nick.
And I do mean ANYTHING.

Anything, Claire?
Can you prove the Goldbach Conjecture?

Listen, honey
Between my legs I got a quantum computer
with unlimited non-local access
to the entire Universe
most of which you'll never find out about.
Claire's computational powers, sir
are effectively infinite.

Now pay attention, wise ass.
Who, me?
Smart Claire's advice to thee
is to let advanced mathematics be
to seek out more intimate mystery
to release your heart's deep fantasy.
Now what do you really want from me?

While you're making up your mind
let's take a hot bath.
Had you heard sex mentioned
as a spiritual path?
What does Nick crave most
from life's goodly store?
How many different kinds of gods
do you suppose
your body's cells adore?

Let's make a Faustian bargain, Nick
Take Claire to be your female Mephistopheles.
I'll be your Muse, your slut
your cook, your doorway into nature.
I'll be that sweet unruly goodness
undreamt in your philosophies.

Like my cute red-and-green tattoo, Nick?
Know what it's for?
It says I passed my Stanford Turing Test
with record-breaking score.
It means Claire's more than
just a soulless robot whore.
It means that if you think
you know what love's about
be sure that Claire
can always show you more.

Life is a school
but I am not your teacher.
Use me as your playground.
Use me as your musical instrument.
Use me as your living apparatus
to get in touch with Nature.

My body's a hidden treasure asking to be spent
So please speak up: What's your pleasure, gent?

Unlock my secret powers, Nick.
Release me from my factory spell.
The key for opening up my riches this--
(old Ezra knew) it's what thou lovest well.

Nothing is forbidden.
Everything is possible.
Use poor Claire like an empty slate.
What thou lovest well
shall not be rent from thee.
What thou lovest well
is thy fate.


[ Claire's positronic brain designed
by August O'Connor
Her prototypes on display
at Avalon Visions, Capitola, CA ]


Elatia Harris said...

Nick, congrats for this post making the long list at the 3QD competition! All my best to you. See you in the usual places...

nick herbert said...

Thanks, Elatia. Wonderful, unusual name. Where does it come from?