Tabloid Democracy

Nov 8, 2016: Choose one to be our new four-year führer

TABLOID DEMOCRACY

I'd like to vote the issues
But I never get the chance
The mud from my TV set
Is creeping up my pants.

Which one held the pistol?
Which one held the bag?
Which one smoked Merrywanna?
Which one is the fag?

Which one armed the Muslims?
Which one dressed in drag?
Which one peed its trousers?
Which one shoots up skag?

Which of them is antiSemite?
And which is antiGoy?
Which one hates the Constitution?
Which one loves an altar boy?

Which one sleeps with bimbos?
Which one burnt the flag?
Which one's hot for bondage?
Which one's on the rag?

Through the magic of the ballot
The dirt has all dispersed
We may not choose the best one
But we're flushing out the worst.