[Art by Rian Fike]
PHYSICIST HEAL THYSELF
Physicist, heal thyself
Submit to Alien Pleasure Rays
Before We let you board a starship
We'd like to teach humanity to play
We'd love to show you yesterday
When yesterday was called "today".
We'll need to wean you
from your "X and Y"s and "Pi"s
And feed you ribs, and naked breasts
and tender thighs
Before We help humanity to fly
We'd like to see how passionate you cry
We'll even teach you how to nicely die.
Before you let you in the Pan-Galactic Club
We'll show you how attentively to rub
Rub shoulders, haunches, crotches, tendrils, feet
Of lovely mindful life forms
in quantum wave-entangled heaps
Of expressive hairy strangers
with the strangest sexual needs
That too much astral traveling
at extra-light-fast speeds
Can bring about.
Don't ask Us: how much, how many, and what for?
Make love just once with Us
then open up for more
Before we open up for you
that well-kept Secret Door
To Nature and the Bigger Tribes next door
To hypersexual pan-galactic corridors
To alien wolf packs, fairy kingdoms,
outlaw gangs galore
And all the million billion secrets of amour.
Please open up, amigos, unclench yourselves,
invite Us in
We'll show you fifteen hundred
different types of sin
And fifty million kinds of lovely pleasuring
From deep red-shifted clusters,
spiral nebula beyond the Rim
From love-starved quantum creatures
neither It nor They nor She & Him
Accept Our gifts
Of pleasure tools, telepathy,
Empath Juice and Wisdom Weed
Of bulbous bulging sacks of alien eggs and seeds
And six new senses that your species really needs
For time travel.
Open up for Me: I sense you'll really like it.
Open up for Me: I feel you'll really like it.
Open up for Me: I know you'll really like it.
Come live with Me and be My Love
And we will all the pleasures prove
So we may all the pleasures prove
Come live with Me and be My Love.